Aria’s Big Announcement (Mommyhood Take…2!)

Hey everyone. Aria here– taking over my mom’s blog for a minute since she keeps delaying telling you all the biggest news of MY life!! While she’s writing about yoga and all that healthy stuff (C’mon this is a mom blog, right??), I’ve been telling everyone on the street and everyone I meet, that…..  unnamed

Yes, my lifelong wish has finally come true! Thank God I finally learned to type (toddler apps are amazing these days, huh?) so you all can be in the know too. I’ve been asking for this day after day for the last year, and finally my parents decided to cooperate (persistence does pay off!).

So, yes, I’ve got a little brother coming. This first pic is a few months old, but isn’t he cute? I’m working on a dog next. Oh, and a baby sister. Stay tuned!

Ban Bossy Is A Campaign, Not Necessarily A Good Idea

ban bossySo Sheryl Sanberg’s latest campaign to ban the word bossy in order to promote leadership among young girls has gotten quite a bit of attention as of late. Twitter been flooded with #banbossy comments, and even mainstream media has lit up, giving Sandberg, and her partnership with The Girl Scouts, ample TV time on national networks. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that big names like Beyonce, Jennifer Garner and Condoleezza Rice have lent their faces to the campaign, but it’s also the controversy that these two little words have brought on that has gotten the press (and everyone) going.

As a media expert, I can say kudos to them for playing the controversy game and putting out a clever hook out to grab attention. It’s brought on attention to an issue that clearly needs to be talked about. As a mom though, I can’t believe that they’ve chosen to make the idea of banning a word the centerpiece of a campaign that deals with a serious issue, to which it is not at all a worthwhile solution.

The idea that banning a word (especially one as pedestrian as “bossy”) as the solution to girls not stepping up into leadership roles, is irresponsible (at best) and dangerous (at worst). Are we really going to start banning words to protect our little girl’s feelings? This is the solution that someone as brilliant as Sandberg has come up with? This is how we will prepare our future leaders to go out into a country where the freedom of speech is a founding principle? This is how we’re going to build them into better leaders and prepare them for the unforgiving place that the world can often be? By banning a word to protect their feelings? C’mon.

Yes, I’ve listened to the interviews and I’ve perused the Ban Bossy website. I’ve read the stats about girls being less likely to volunteer because they want to be liked (and not perceived as bossy), and all the other nonsense about how this one word is limiting our girls. However, the problem with our girls being called bossy and shutting down does not come from the calling of the word. When are we going to stop focusing on the surface problems and start focusing on the root causes? It’s not the external component (i.e. the word “bossy”) that we need to be concerned about at all. It’s the internal that needs to be addressed.

You see, we will never get anywhere if we keep worrying about all the miscellaneous stuff happening that we can’t control (like other people’s actions). We’ll never be able to ban enough words, or restrict enough behaviors to ensure all our kids have a clear path to success. The key to making our girls (and boys) better leaders, better citizens, and, most of all, better human beings, comes from focusing on the stuff on the inside. We need to stop reacting and start to refocus on investing our efforts in that which is truly worthwhile– those things that build confidence, integrity and help them develop a real sense of self– so that none of the rocks in life that are thrown their way (whether being called “bossy” or “fat” or “ugly” or the countless other criticisms and rejections they all inevitably will face) can penetrate them, muchness trip them up.

So instead of offering up limitation and restriction as a solution, why not focus on edification and inclusion? How about we give our kids great opportunities, teach them how to be their best and encourage them to become better through adversity? How about we instill in them the tools needed to deal with the hardships of life–packing them up with self esteem and confidence to the level that allows them to excel and leave behind the inevitable nay sayers? How about we bring on more positive opportunities like mentoring programs, yoga in school, and perhaps even think about teaching them emotional intelligence? How about we start addressing the real issues affecting our kids and stop focusing on silly short sighted solutions?

No, Ban Bossy is not  the answer. We will never see any significant resolution by only looking at things at face value. Let’s go a little deeper for once. Let’s invest in our girls in a meaningful way, one that truly builds character in them and sets them up for real success in life. The Girl Scouts is a wonderful organization, already doing amazing things. I just wish they didn’t get caught up in the ridiculous notion that Ban Bossy should be the centerpiece of their latest push.  It’s a clever media strategy, but not a real solution, and certainly not the message we should be sending to our little girls.

Unexpectedly Star-struck At STK

I rarely get star-struck. In the old days I would interview celebs and notable folks and have never asked for a single autograph and rarely even snapped a pic. Living in NYC, I feel like I cross paths with celebs all the time- Maggie Gyllenhaal on the sidewalk in Soho (so nice), Hugh Jackman walking the river w/his fam  (just the other day), Prince Harry having cocktails at Soho House, and always Martha Stewart  who makes regular appearances at our playground (her grandkids live in the hood). If I do a double take, that’s a lot, but forget about approaching.

STK RooftopThat’s why my behavior at STK last night caught me completely off guard. I was standing at the elevator waiting to go back up to the roof and down the hall I spotted Rory McIlroy (yes, some of you reading this probably don’t even have a clue who he is. I know I didn’t before meeting Aria’s golf fanatic dad). Before I even caught myself, I was calling his name and walking over to him like we went way back. I was that girl– spotting a “celeb” (can I even call him that?!) and pestering him on his way into the bathroom (embarrassing!) He was ever so gracious, had a chat and asked if I was headed to the roof (which I was), and said he’d come up and take a picture.

I went back up to our table and sent Aria’s dad a quick tweet about my encounter. He, after all, was the real reason I got so excited about spotting the PGA golfer. Rory did in fact end up coming up to the roof. I spotted him over my second course,  but by then had regained my senses (and dignity) and decided to leave the poor guy alone.

Just a little NYC moment… now back to reality and following Aria back and forth to the bathroom a hundred times when she says she has to go potty (but doesn’t).